Jessica Simpson Doesn’t Brush Her Teeth!
WHAT??? ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? OH, JESS! SAY IT ISN’T SO!!!
Just when every normal heterosexual red-blooded man from around the world was still reeling from images of Jessica Simpson on Dave Letterman’s show carrying an extra thirty or forty pounds, Jessica Simpson blurts out in another television interview that she rarely brushes her teeth! Does this poor child have NO ONE around her advising her on what to say and what not to say???
Jessica Simpson Shocks Us All!
So I’ve been sitting in front of my computer working hard on a major update to this site. I’ve got some momentum going in my thought process as I’m working. You all know what I’m talking about… that feeling when you’re really “in the groove… you’re getting things done… you feel alert and productive, and everything seems to be “clicking”. Things are moving along! I’m loving it!
As I’m working and just making things happen (and feeling great about it), I’ve got Fox News going on the TV in the background, and I’m hardly paying attention to what’s being said…. until…
From out of nowhere, in the background, my “antennae” pop up when I hear the news anchor comes out with this teaser…
“Jessica Simpson doesn’t brush her teeth!”
Ummm….. WHAT???
A Heavier Jessica Simpson
OK, for those of you who regularly read this blog, you know that I don’t often comment on matters unrelated to business or some kind or perhaps my family life; but when this bomb dropped on live TV, , and as I began to reel from the shock, I just couldn’t help myself! Somehow, my sense of a sane grasp on reality seemed to slip a little. That “groove” I was feeling disappeared faster than a pizza at a weight-watcher’s convention! Life will never be the same again! lol As if men from around the world weren’t shocked enough to see Jessica Simpson on Dave Letterman’s show with what appeared to be an extra thirty or forty pounds, (a mental image that in and of itself will scar millions of men for life), Jessica Simpson announced to the world in a televised interview that she rarely brushes her teeth!
According to Jessica, her teeth are really pretty “strong”. She says that she normally just uses Listerine, and that sometimes she just uses her sweater (presumably to wipe the growth off her teeth in between meals).
Has the whole world gone completely insane??? What on earth is happening to our society???
Reality Check
Yep, it’s really true. That’s right, Gentlemen! All you guys who have been fantasizing about this girl since she was sweet 16 can now add that little tidbit of information to your mental image of your favorite sex symbol! Here she is telling us about it:
There ya go! There she is in all her glory… casually crushing the fantasies of millions of male fans from around the world. I don’t know about you, but if I were still single, and I had a “thing” for this girl, that one statement would change everything for me! That one fact would definitely ruin any kind of single-man’s fantasy that I would ever have!
Anyway….
So What’s The Point, Rick?
“OK, Rick. We “get it”. She’s not brushing her teeth… yep, that’s nasty. However, we don’t come here to read about Jessica Simpson. What does any of this have to do with anything you normally write about or comment on?”
More than you might think, in my view!
Rest assured that the point I want to make here actually has nothing to do with “entertainment news” I have no desire to enter that field, nor do I have any aspirations of competing with the guys at E! entertainment or the National Enquirer. You can also rest at ease that my point has nothing to do with my fantasy life (especially since my beautiful wife more than takes care of that area of my life now). Rather, the point I am making here is actually two-fold: First, a commentary on what this says about our society, and second, a simple expression of concern and empathy for this poor girl and the sheer incompetence that apparently exists in her management and publicist.
Jessica Simpson & Common Sense
You know, anyone who watched any of the episodes of the short-lived reality show with Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey knows that Jessica is not the “sharpest tool in the tool shed”, so to speak. I forced myself to sit through one episode in which she was trying to figure out how to operate the washing machine and the difference between what the washer does and what the dryer does. If I’m not mistaken, this was the same episode in which she was trying to determine what category tuna falls into: chicken or fish”. At one time I think I believed that all of that was an act. No longer.
Jessica Simpson (Wanna smell that breath?)
My point here is not to criticize Jessica or even to make fun of her. Frankly, I think it stopped being funny a long time ago, but not because she is not the smartest person in the world, and not because she’s gained some weight. My issue is that somewhere around this girl there has to be someone with enough foresight to know that since Jessica is obviously never going to head up a multi-national company or invent a cure for cancer, she’s going to need to be able to build a life’s fortune on her appeal to her fans (especially the men). Whoever that person is should be fired! This poor girl is going to talk her way into a trailer-park future faster than you can say “where’s my floss?” if someone doesn’t step in and save her from herself! Men can tolerate the fact that she’s not so smart. In fact, we all know that most wouldn’t care. Some can even deal with the fact that she’s put on a lot of weight (although that is not really the brightest move for her future, either). However, no matter how sexy a woman is (or used to be), I don’t know many men that could put up with what must be some really bad halitosis, nor the mental image of what’s causing it. Maybe I’m just too “old-school”, but I’d be extremely surprised if Jessica doesn’t find that her fanbase just shrunk by millions within 24 hours after that interview.
My Hopes And Prayers for Jessica Simpson
Jessica Simpson (As We'd Prefer To Think Of Her)
What’s happening with Jessica, in my opinion, is indicative of serious challenges we are facing in society. If all you can do is to laugh at this girl, you’re missing the bigger picture. How did someone who doesn’t have the common sense to know how to take care of her own most basic-most hygienic needs, or to know what kind of meat tuna is, or how to operate a household appliance ever make it to the top of our society? What does this say about us as a people?
May God have mercy on this poor girl, and help her find someone who can do a better job and protecting Jessica Simpson from herself! Perhaps more to the point, May God have mercy on us all for letting the life of such a beautiful creation of his go so wrong!
What do you think? Please comment below and tell me!
Great stuff as usual…
I wish I could write like you as Margaret Laurence once said “When I say “work” I only mean writing. Everything else is just odd jobs.”
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